[repost] The #MeToo movement continues to move on, but where?

This editorial first ran on April 26, 2018.

Oh the humanity! 

This has been one helluva week. 

From Bill Cosby to Tom Brokaw, America is finally being forced to look at the ugly truth of what at least half of the population already knows, that no matter how "far" we as woman have gone all of our alleged power can be reduced to nothing at the will of a powerful (or more powerful) man. While I am glad the nation is finally faced with the ugly truth of what its like to be a marginalized member of society, it's nowhere on the scale of the daily indignities and humiliations faced by women on all ends of the economic, social and racial spectrum. 

Sexual harassment and retaliation can (and does) happen anywhere and can be perpetrated by anyone in any industry. As a working woman of color, I can't tell you how many times I have had to try to make the best of a bad situation (i.e. balance keeping my job and my dignity) while trying to navigate the culture of denial -- or worse-- blatant acceptance of things that are so obviously wrong. The stories I could tell you would either spark outrage or extreme sadness; two often felt emotions when working and/or living in an intolerable situation. 

The only thing more soul crushing than the acts themselves, are the culture of hypocrisy in which they are committed. We saw this with the Harvey Weinstein situation, even as he debased women in droves he was winning awards and press accolades for his "support" of women in Hollywood. Bill Cosby was "America's Dad" but in reality he was a serial rapist. Matt Lauer, America's "every man" was actually every working woman’s nightmare. 

And the hypocrisy doesn't stop there.  Lets be honest, these predators (and really is there any other way to describe these men?) were able to operate unchecked for decades under their campaigns of entitlement because they bet on the compliance/silence of the corporations behind them and the high-powered connections around them. What woman in her right mind could/would expect to stand up (and often alone) when it's clear she would be outgunned from the start?  It's not about being believed, it's about being valued. And what is the value of women in the workplace when we are rarely seated at the table or in the boardroom? What is the value placed on women when we are meant to feel as if we should be lucky to even be in the room, never mind if we are expected to serve the coffee and take the meeting notes?

Uncomfortable with that statement? Let me give you a truly terrifying thought. Re-read those last two sentences and insert "of color" behind the word "woman." Better still; insert "poor" or "immigrant" before "woman." 

Diane Sawyer recently did a piece on 20/20 about sexual harassment in the workplace and it had a segment about the lengths that hotel cleaners go to on the daily to avoid sexual assault. Can you imagine? Women going to work everyday with the expectation that they may be sexually assaulted or raped; and these aren't women pulling down high salaries, they are women making the least yet have to accept the worst. I suspect that's not something that five star hotels are promoting in their advertisements. That segment alone has me re-evaluating my treatment and tipping of hotel cleaners. They really and truly do not get compensated enough.  

And I get it, this is all so damn demoralizing and on so many levels. This morning one of my Facebook friends referenced not being able to talk about the Tom Brokaw accusations because it was just too depressing to realize that another man of stature might in fact be a creep. I found myself wondering when did I lose that ability to be surprised because the reality is that I am not shocked AT ALL by any of these new revelations, because I've lived through some pretty awful treatment myself.

All for the sake of keeping my job (and the peace) I have plastered a fake smile on my face, put my nose to the grindstone, then at the first opportunity, went to my car and bawled my eyes out! On particularly awful days I would travel to the local Ross or Marshalls and cry into the bathmats  (best to muffle the sound) before returning to repeat it all again. That was real life and for a really long time, but I know I am not alone.  I know women (and men) all over the world, all over the nation and yes, all over DC have similar tales of survival (because really at this point you are just trying to survive). 

But it goes beyond reading these stories; it even goes beyond talking about them. It is going to take less talking and more doing to make a real difference. And the "doing" is going to have to be done by those who don't want to admit there is a problem in the first place, or worse, may be part of the problem whether they realize it or not.

That said, expecting a sexist culture to police itself is tomfoolery of the highest order. To think the inherent protection of the "old boy's club" will look beyond the privilege of self to the plight of female colleagues and counterparts is really a bridge too far. It's going to take many, many, many more of these stories and many more tales of tacit approval and active denial by organizations before change can even start to take root. 

And that is my #MeToo moment. But that said, where do we go from here?