Name that crab! Who's a "crab" in your life and why?
The Advoc8te is asking you, "Who is a crab in your life and what makes them a crab?"
Need help indentifying a "crab" read this post. Also reposting the contents below:
From my December 15th 2009 post:
Today is a day that The Advoc8te needs to take a moment and engage in some real talk. Be forewarned, The Advoc8te is about to lay down some serious heat and some folks may get their feelings hurt, but it’s high time that someone says it, and I guess today that person will have to be me.
As a person of color living in a predominantly black community, it is my opinion that we really have to stop this 'crab in a pot' mentality. To be fair, you don’t have to be black to engage in ‘crab in a pot’ behavior but as a people who have historically been marginalized and disenfranchised we probably understand it the most. In terms of this behavior in Ward 8, we are cutting off our own noses to spite our faces. We have gone from ‘we are the change that we seek’, to ‘yes we did it!’ to ‘every man for himself’. What the hell happened to “we are all in this together?”
To be fair, there have been some success stories. I see them every day; however, we still have some humungous super-duper ‘hater crabs’ in our community and they are sipping on a Super Big Gulp of "Haterade". This is what keeps our community fractured, obstructionist intent on keeping us fighting amongst ourselves rather than working together. Whether you call them ‘haters’ or refer to them as ‘crabs in a pot’ we have way too many in Ward 8 (and East of the River/River East in general) and they are killing any sense of unity and progress with their self-defeatist attitudes and actions. As a two year resident of Ward 8 I have been stunned by the level of ‘crab-like’ behavior I have seen in so called leaders of the Ward 8 community; some of these ‘fine upstanding citizens’ have appointed themselves judge, jury and executioner on everything Ward 8 related. They have almost made it their primary mission to tear down, discourage, criticize, or obstruct any attempts or plans for success that were not created with them at the helm. It’s petty...it’s foolish... and it's just plain selfish.
I understand what it is like to be frustrated with a situation, Lord knows I really do. I understand what it is like to work really hard at something for so long and feel like you just aren’t getting ahead - it’s maddening. I can understand the frustration, especially if it seems that someone else with less of an obvious investment or seniority comes in and gets recognition for your hard work. I get that. It’s only human to feel overlooked, especially if you have invested time and energy in a project or goal that has been really dear to your heart. Again, I get that. What I don’t get is sabotaging the very project you invested so much time, sweat and tears into just because you are upset that someone else might be making some progress where you didn't or are receiving attention that you feel you (and you alone) deserved.
That is my biggest problem with some (but not all) Ward 8 community activists. There are a small number of community leaders who are so consumed by their own ego that they can neither solicit nor accept help. They see any attempts to improve things for everyone as a personal insult to their ego and/or a threat to their standing in the community. Change (in any form) that was not pre-approved by them is to be met with contempt, scorn and rage and that I just don’t understand. That type of short sighted thinking is not only childish but counter-productive. There are actually some people in Ward 8 (young and old; new arrivals and old arrivals; black and white) who hope that the few really positive things we have in the community fail, because to fail would keep us all together at the bottom on the pot, seperated into our pre-assigned seats. You don't have to get to really know a person if they are just a stereotype.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Ward 8. I really, really do love Ward 8, but sometimes navigating through the dysfunction, childishness and jealousy (that’s right I said it) of community politics is like watching children fighting over a toy. They would rather break it than share it.
Anyone who knows The Advoc8te knows I get really upset when I see attempts in the media to either divide us (ex. old residents vs. new residents) or assign overly general (and often incorrect) stereotypes to an entire community. The only thing that makes me even more upset and causes my blood to boil is when we do it to each other! Especially, when we verbally eviscerate each other publicly in the very medium (example, the news) that has historically contributed to the misconceptions of our community in the first place!
What is this crap of ‘old residents vs. new residents’ or ‘middle class vs. working class’ or ‘East of the River vs. River East’? It’s nothing but a diversion; a diversion to keep us busy fighting each other instead of working together to solve real problems like homelessness, illiteracy and unemployment. If you live in Ward 8 then you are my neighbor – it's that simple. It is time to smarten up people. Stop letting third-parties play our community for fools. Let’s stop playing to the stereotype. Let’s stop being crabs!
Before Rosa Parks there was Harriet Tubman. Before Martin Luther King Jr. there was Frederick Douglass. And yes, before The Advoc8te there was a Mary Cuthbert. Did we see our civil rights leaders stabbing each other in the back in the press? No - because they were working TOGETHER for a common goal. There will always be someone older, wiser and who has suffered more than the next person. Older people don’t have an exclusive on knowing what’s right; young folks even with all their technology do not have all the answers either. No one here is perfect. There is no one right way. True and lasting success is going to come from a collaboration of a lot of different viewpoints, of a lot of different skills, of a lot of different ideas. We are all in this together people! Let’s stop hating on each other and get to the business at hand! Let’s put some more ‘civil’ back into civil rights! I’ve said it once and I will say it again, ‘it’s community not seniority’.
At the end of the day we need each other, every single last one, in order to make this community GREAT. Let’s stop the back-biting, the insults, the sabotage, the division, the accusations, the assumptions. Let’s just stop the hate! All of that is just noise designed to keep us as a community divided and sitting at the back of the bus.
Now stop being a crab!
Instead of giving your neighbor your contempt consider giving him (or her) your hand.
To contact The Advoc8te or to submit an article for posting on Congress Heights on the Rise email congressheightsontherise@gmail.com.
Share on Facebook