And The JackAss Award of the Month Goes To...

Normally at this early hour (5:30am) The Advoc8te like most folks would be sleeping. Recharging my battery for what would sure to be a full day doing very Advoc8te like things. Unfortunately I like about 200+ other men, women and children in my neighborhood are now awake and boy are we p-i-s-s-e-d!

For those of you that read this humble little blog (thanks again by the way) you probably recall my earlier diatribe on my run in with the neighborhood horn blower (which in my mind I call the "blankedy blank" fool).

Without going into all the details again you can just click HERE to read that post again to refresh yourself on my stance on this particular situation.

Unfortunately this time I didn't have the opportunity to have another face to face confrontation (partially due to the fact I couldn't find my robe in time) therefore I feel I was robbed my ability to go off on the offender so pardon me while I have a very un-Advoc8te like moment.

I am absolutely positive that none of my fantastic readers would behave so poorly nor would tolerate one of their carpool buddies to come into their neighborhood and "act the fool" but in the off chance that you may have momentarily lost your damn mind and acted up OR may have just heard the horn blowing idiot(s) discussing their early morning transgression at the office water cooler OR if you are aware of someone in the past acting like this idiot please tell that rude horn blower this from me (or if you are not the confrontation type I find anonymous emails also work equally as well).

"Dear Rude Blankedy Blank,

Thank you (not) for being such a $#@& idiot and coming in to my neighborhood at 5:10am on a Monday morning and blowing your %$#@! horn like a stupid %$#% moron. Now an entire neighborhood of people really know you are the stupidiest SOB on the planet. I don't know who you were intending to pick up but did you really have enough room in your car for 200 people? I assume you must have because you woke us all up with your %$%#$ shenanigans. Oh what? You don't have enough room in your car for 200+ people? Well did you at least bring some%$#@! breakfast? Some egg McMuffin's perhaps? Maybe some Lucky Charms because you damn sure woke up a classroom full of kids and now these kids are looking for breakfast. Oh... you didn't think about that? Well I hope you and your car horn burn in $%$%.

If I wasn't such a civilized creature I wish that I could have gotten outside fast enough while you were still blowing your !@#$% horn like a %$#@ toddler and busted every single window out on your car ala Michael Jackson in the "Dangerous" video and then reached in and pulled out your steering wheel and beat the living %$$# out of you and who ever you were picking up (for they were partially responsible for not cussing you out the moment they heard your stupid #$@! blowing the horn).

After I royally beat the #$@# out of you with your own steering wheel I would have taken your seat belt (because we know all know stupid #$@! idiots like yourself aren't wearing one) and I would have wrapped it around your neck and chocked the living @$%$! out of you with it. After popping each one of your tires I would issue the final blow by spray painting (because in my fantasy I would always walk around with neon orange spray paint in my pocket) all over your car in huge letters...

"I AM AN INCONSIDERATE BLANKY-BLANK AND I DON'T DESERVE TO DRIVE!"

For that person (and the others like them) who are going into neighborhoods weather it be 5am or 11pm and blowing their horn for any other reason than a traffic emergency I hope that bad things happen to you all day and nobody but you. I hope you trip and fall. I hope someone gets the last donut. I hope someone spits in your lunch.I hope you get a major parking ticket today. I hope that you catch a flat on the way home from work and I hope that all the milk in your house goes bad and most of all I hope you get insomnia for an entire month straight that way perhaps you can respect the sleeping habits of others.

I hope you are shown the same lack of consideration and thoughtfulness you showed an entire community of folks with your tomfoolery. You should be ashamed of yourself!!!!!!!"

Best Regards,

One Fed Up (AND TIRED!) Resident

P.S. I am getting a paint ball gun so that next time you come on my street with that foolishness I am going to light your stupid _ _ _ up!!!

Share on Facebook