As a 34-year-old woman, I am constantly amazed (and sometimes horrified) at the lack of chivalry displayed by too many men. Forget getting a man to hold a door open for you, it's a rarity to see a man voluntarily give up his seat to a woman on the train, even a pregnant woman. 

Chivalry Fail
I recall leaving a male friend's house a few months ago. It was late, the neighborhood had recently had several armed robberies, and I was alone. I was suprised when he did not at least offer to walk me to my car, but when he didn't even wait at the door to make sure I got into my car safely I was really taken aback. Before I had even gotten off the porch, he had turned off the light, shut the door, thrown the lock, and had walked away.

Concerned for my safety (and friendship) he was not.

I. Was. Blown. I started walking to my car (parked up the street in mugger's paradise) thinking, "Oh, hell no!" My shock turned to good old-fashioned rage. I quickly turned on my stiletto heel, went back up the stairs, banged on the door like the cops, and put dude on blast. His response? He could not understand why I was upset and proceeded to do the same exact thing again! There was no shame at having been called out. More like, "why should I have to do all of that?"

I found myself asking the same exact question and now that "friend" is now standing out in the cold of my friendship. Miss his friendship I do not.

State of Emergency
At that moment, I realized that we are in a state of chivalry emergency. The epidemic of selfishness and rudeness is at an all time high, there are too many "men" out here who have not a clue on how to act like men. While that was truly depressing (and frankly aggravating), what I found appalling (and frankly a little scary), is that we have a generation of women (especially young women) who have no idea what proper and courteous behavior looks like. Not only are women accepting the lack of common courtesy but some women are  carrying themselves with a lack of it. I could do an entire post on the un-ladylike behavior occurring daily on our streets but I will leave that for another day.

From Boys to Men
The lost art of chivalry appears to be truly lost. I am no longer surprised at the lack of respect exhibited by teenage boys; you have men in their thirties and forties who are just as clueless. I can count on one hand the times a man has voluntarily helped me put on my coat (and I think at least one of those times he was selling it to me), has offered me his seat on a crowded train, or offered to pump my gas on a dark night.

Don't get me wrong, there are still some old-school gentlemen out there but they are coming far and few in between. To be honest I am grasping right now trying to think of two men that I know now who right now who haven't committed a courtesy violation. The basics of chivalry and gentlemanly behavior are clearly no longer being taught and women are finding ourselves scratching our heads and shaking our fists at "men" who really should know better.

Therefore, for today's post I am asking the ladies and gentleman out there to post in the comments section the rules of chivalry and how they expect a man to really act. Feel free to post the types of tacky behaviors that you have run into on the streets. Including some of my own "Rules of a Real Man" below.

Consider this my Public Service Announcement of the Day.

In my opinon, a gentleman does the following:

1. Holds a door open for a lady

2. Opens her car door

3. Walks on the side nearest the curb

4. Walks a lady to her door and make sure she gets inside safely

5. Walks a lady to her car or at least watch to make sure she gets to her car safely

6. Shows up on time

7. If he is running late he CALLS before to let his companion know

8. He makes sure he looks presentable and is clean

9. He watches the profanity (profanity on a first date is an absolute no-no)

10. He hails the cab

11. He offers to help carry in the groceries

12. If the woman is driving and stops at a gas station he offers to pump the gas

13. He is respectful and polite

14. He offers to help carry in the groceries or other heavy item

15. He is reliable

16. He is honest

17. He helps a lady put on/take off her coat

18. He is helpful

19. He calls much older women Ms. XXXX or Mrs. XXXX

20. He teaches other men how to be a gentleman



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